Surprise, Surprise
　　給你一個(gè)大驚喜
　　If I were invited to a dinner party with my characters, I
　　wouldn’t show up.
　　～Dr. Seuss
　　My father is a rabbi, and of course he often officiates atweddings. One time he was asked to officiate at a surprise fiftiethanniversary party that would include a renewal of vows. Thecouple’s daughter, Marilyn, was so excited. She had invited all ofher parents’ lifelong friends—her mom’s
　　mahjong group, her dad’s golfing buddies, all seven of theirgrandchildren—and she had booked a dinner for all of them at afancy hotel. Marilyn said that she wanted nothing but the best forher parents.
　　The event had begun as an elegant, fancy surprise party, buteventually grew to include a ten-piece band and a six-courseexpensive dinner.
　　A photographer was even hired to make souvenir badges for eachguest.
　　As the days went by, and the cost seemed to exponentially expand,Marilyn’s husband began to question the growing expenses of theparty: “I’m not so sure your parents truly need two flamingos in arented fountain.” However, Marilyn would not budge. She met againwith her party planner, and the arrangements became even more andmore elaborate.
　　The big day finally arrived and Marilyn could not have asked fora more beautiful evening as she and her husband drove up to thehotel. They hastened inside. The aroma from the kitchen wasdelightful. The musicians were tuning their instruments and thehall looked beautiful. As the guests began to arrive Marilyn wasmore excited than she thought possible.
　　By 8:00 p.m., all the guests had arrived for the surprise party.Marilyn had planned for her parents to get to their surprise partyat 8:15 by telling them that the celebration was actually a partyfor their parents’ good friends, Mr. and Mrs. Samuels. However,8:15 came and went with no sign of the anniversary couple. Then8:30 came—and also went. At 8:50, Mary was becoming
　　extremely anxious and nervous.
　　“Where are my parents?” she nervously asked herself. “What ifsomething happened to them? What would we do?” Just then, Marilyn’scell phone rang. She grabbed it.
　　“Hello, hello!” she shouted.
　　“Marilyn, this is Mom. Please send our apologies to the Samuels,but last night we looked on the Internet for an inexpensive,last-minute cruise, and we found it. It left Galveston at 5:00 thisafternoon, and we’re now on our way to Key West. We’ll be back nextSaturday morning. You know, it’s our fiftieth anniversary thisTuesday, and we wanted to celebrate it in a meaningful way. Telleveryone that we are sorry we cannot be there together with themtonight.”
　　Marilyn was in shock. She did not even notice her cell phonedropping into the fountain with the flamingos. Her husband,however, overheard his mother-in-law’s comments on the phone. Hesarcastically, but calmly, stated to his wife, “Now, can we shout‘SURPRISE’?”
　　～Michael Jordan Segal, MSW
　　如果我受邀帶著自己的個(gè)性出席晚餐聚會(huì)，那我是不會(huì)去的。
　　——瑟斯博士
　　我的父親是一個(gè)猶太教祭司，當(dāng)然，他經(jīng)常主持婚禮。有一次，他受邀主持一個(gè)意想不到的五十周年結(jié)婚紀(jì)念日聚會(huì)，其中一項(xiàng)活動(dòng)為重溫當(dāng)初的誓言。老夫婦的女兒瑪麗琳十分激動(dòng)。她邀請父母一生中所有的朋友都來參加聚會(huì)，母親的麻將牌友、父親的高爾夫球友和所有的孫子孫女�，旣惲赵谝患腋邫n酒店預(yù)訂了晚餐，她說什么都不重要，只要父母開心就好。本來一開始只是個(gè)優(yōu)雅、高檔的驚喜聚會(huì)，但最后這頓昂貴的晚餐還包括了十組表演樂隊(duì)和六道菜式，甚至還雇用了攝影師給每位來賓拍照留念。
　　隨著時(shí)間的流逝，花費(fèi)也在成倍地上漲�，旣惲盏恼煞蜷_始質(zhì)疑這次聚會(huì)的費(fèi)用：“我懷疑你父母真的需要兩個(gè)火烈鳥站在租來的噴水池里�！比欢�，瑪麗琳不打算讓步，她和聚會(huì)策劃人再一次碰頭，布置變得越來越精致。
　　那一天終于到來，瑪麗琳和丈夫開車前往酒店，天氣好得不能再好了。他們快速走進(jìn)酒店，從廚房散發(fā)出的香味讓人感到愉悅，音樂家們在調(diào)試樂器，大廳看起來美極了。當(dāng)來賓開始抵達(dá)時(shí)，瑪麗琳比想象中還要激動(dòng)。
　　八點(diǎn)鐘，所有來賓都已經(jīng)抵達(dá)酒店。因?yàn)橄虢o父母一個(gè)驚喜，所以瑪麗琳原本告訴父母，這次的驚喜聚會(huì)是為父母的好友塞繆爾斯夫婦準(zhǔn)備的，請父母八點(diǎn)十五分抵達(dá)酒店。但是，八點(diǎn)十五分到了，不見父母蹤影。八點(diǎn)半了，還是沒人。八點(diǎn)五十分，瑪麗琳開始變得焦慮。
　　她緊張地問自己：“爸媽呢？是不是出事了？我們該怎么辦？”
　　就在此時(shí)，瑪麗琳的手機(jī)響了，她接起電話叫道：“喂？喂？”
　　“瑪麗琳，是媽媽。請向塞繆爾斯夫婦致歉。昨晚，我們在網(wǎng)上看到一個(gè)便宜的豪華游輪旅行，時(shí)間很趕，我們就訂了。今天早上五點(diǎn)就離開了加爾維斯敦，現(xiàn)在我們在去基韋斯特的路上，下周六早上回來。你知道的，這周二是我們的五十周年結(jié)婚紀(jì)念日，我們想以富有意義的方式來慶祝。告訴他們我們很抱歉今晚不能參加聚會(huì)了�！�
　　瑪麗琳驚呆了，連手機(jī)掉進(jìn)噴水池也沒察覺。而她的丈夫無意中聽到岳母在電話里說的話，于是諷刺但又冷靜地對妻子說道：“現(xiàn)在，我們可以大叫‘給你一個(gè)驚喜’了嗎？”
　　——邁克·喬丹·西格爾
　　……